I was signed up by a friend on facebook to join a new sobriety group. Great, no problems there I thought. It was only after some weeks of seeing posts that I realised that it was yet another AA sub-group with the tenet that ''the only way to get sober and stay sober is through the AA method''.

Anyone that knows me or read the blogs will realise that I don't hold with that view at all.

Why is it that you can only stay sober if you attend AA meetings, have AA friends and sub-groups and you can't ''at all costs'' join a sub-group unless you subscribe to their views.

I have promptly left the latest sub-group.



I have nothing against AA and actively push people towards it for the physical support it can give ie. real-life contact with other alcoholics, but for goodness sake stop telling people they can only remain sober if they follow the 12 steps.... it's now I see another reason why maybe I didn't go to AA, and it's a shame because they are alienating a great deal of people they should be helping .....


Poor Bill, I am sure he didn't want it to be this way ....

The dentist

What do you do when every little upset makes you want to drink? Luckily for me I don't but if you do what are your strategies .... try and share strategies or support others if you can. Before I stopped drinking I was scared to admit I had a problem, maybe the social services would come round, or my doctor would think less of me and that the whole world would scorn me ...

There was a time I went to the dentist, and what reminded me of this was I just went to the dentist with a gum infection, anyway I went to the dentist and she asked me to take antibiotics for 7 days. But I could not drink alcohol, at all. I was mortified, I knew as a nurse that the antibiotics wouldn't work if I drank, pointless taking them. So I had to tell her in front of the dental nurse that I couldn't take them as I had to drink. She looked at me and said could I stop for 3 days ... I was so embarrassed and admitted that I couldn't .....
I ended up with less effective medication because of alcohol !!

I feel great now, I am even bragging to the dentist that I am 3 years sober and much more healthy and nothing has changed since I stopped drinking (meaning I am still sober) and yes I can take the stronger antibiotics, WOW what a transformation. Just think with support you too could be treated with effective medication when needed, no fear of drunk driving, or losing your job either ...

Just approach a recovering alcoholic and ask them where they got support and you never just know you could find new friends too ...

Sobriety rocks , or so I'm told

why does this sober business make me feel old

I'm not moving, standing still

waiting for my life to begin.

I often wonder how it would be

drinking again, being me

I taste it often on my tongue

that drink of mine, dry and strong.

I can help you feel again,

live your life as you had once done

just one sip and you'll be fine

pick the bottle and drink the wine.

Angel 2010

To AA or not AA? That is the question ......

You all know this blog is my own opinion, although I love comments - thanks Rufusndp !! - but just wondering if AA is the way to go ... I have recently met a lot of people online who feel that it's a really good support and life-style scheme in a group setting, to stop drinking alcohol. I can't comment too much, never having been to a meeting before so I would be interested in your opinion, instead of it always being me chattering on.

I always felt anxious of attending AA or any group support system for fear of meeting clients there or even people who knew me. Now latterly, I know you will all say but they are there for the same reason you are !! But my alcohol-fugged brain couldn't comprehend that.
Primarily, I didn't want to attend AA meetings because as a nurse and midwife I was afraid that clients would see me and wonder how I could be a ''good'' carer if I was drinking ... I sometimes wondered that myself, so nothing new there then.

So what about going-it alone, does it stand a good chance of long term success? I think it's the same as any other method it depends on the determination and ''craving'' - for want of a better word - to succeed in being sober.
Online support can be vital to those of us who are shy of admitting in a group setting what we are whilst still being able to admit anonymously we have a problem.

Yet I now find it very easy 3 years down the (sober) line to tell people I am an ''alkie'' and so what !!!?
Let them look at me sideways and they will get ''what for''.... but why was it when I was drinking that I could never admit to myself let alone others that I was an alcoholic.
Guess what - I was just a heavy drinker - who couldn't go a day without getting drunk.... hmm ....

What is it about the dreaded alcohol that makes us not admit that we are drinking it too much. In fact the more you imbibe the more you deny you have a problem. True ?
I am suspecting it is the same with any addiction ? Do we akso have susceptibility to other addictions .... I can only answer for myself in laymans or should that be laywomans terms ... I think we do.
I never touched drugs as I smoked and drank ... I knew I would be hooked in no time if I touched drugs and never dared gamble either for exactly the same reasons ... so that's me.
What about you ?

Women ....

One subject I never really thought about writing about in particular was the fact that women drink and are drinking more than ever. I can't use an excuse myself with regards to today, I drank before the craze for young women getting drunk in the streets became so popular. I suppose that means I am not sexist !

I just talk about the benefits and downfalls of drinking and stopping/reducing drinking for all of us, no matter who, what, why or where ....

I do know that mental ill health isn't helped by excess alcohol consumption. It's used to extinguish those deep down fears and nightmares that many people with mental ill health may have. Not only that but to moderate behaviour, and that just ends up increasing another ill health behaviour in return.

Women often feel powerless and vulnerable in society in general once they leave the full time workforce to have children, it can lead to alcohol abuse as a prop to coping with family life, depression, agrophobia, anxiety and possible domestic violence.

The opposite can be true for high-flying women attempting to break the glass ceiling, although mental health issues here are more likely to be stress and begins with the odd glass of alcohol to socialise or ''wind-down''.

It's very difficult in that situation to even recognise that you have an alcohol problem sitting alongside the mental ill health. Why I am saying about mental ill health under the subject women and alcohol is that more women self-diagnose and self-treat these problems with alcohol and pain killers than we are led to believe.

Firstly, the stigma and worries about family disruption and break-up if you admit to these problems, then secondly it's sometimes easier to retreat into the ''nice'' feelings you get when self-treating. The only real downfall is that your family is imploding from within and you are self-destructing. The final event might be set on a long timer but it will happen eventually if you keep drinking.

It's such a shame that resources aren't in place to support women before they hit the ground ..... and everything around them disintegrates ...

References: http://alcoholism.about.com/od/women

http://www.mind.org.uk/help/people_groups_and_communities/women_and_mental_health#substance
www.womensaid.org.uk/domestic-violence-survivors-handbook.asp?section000100010008000100360002